"Yo the busiest spots in manhattan had better customer service."

Oh man oh man I couldn't let this one slip away.

There have been exciting things happening. That is, exciting enough things for me to ignore my duties to this site. No more apologies, you'll get it when you get it and that's the end of it!

So I was looking for a local place to recycle spent toner and batteries (I told you things have been exciting) since our Staples around the corner closed and found that there really aren't many places to recycle this stuff. I looked for the closest still open Staples and found one 9 miles from the office.

While typing in the Office to Staples directions call into the search bar I spied this location's reviews. One of the review snippets jumped out at me. Can you guess which one?

Manhattan would be offended.

Man, you're sharp - how did you guess?

Yo?.. YO? Who starts a review with "Yo"? Did Rocky Balboa write the review?!

Sometimes I hate my brain. When I read the snippet I instantly imagined an oiled up cast member of Jersey Shore strutting through Staples in a bathing suit looking for a cheese steak and when confronted by the floor staff that A: "Sir, you are shirtless, you have to leave" and B: "No sir, we don't sell cheese steak", stormed out in an entitled fit of rage while internalizing their plan for revenge.

Weeks passed, and Jake the typewriter salesman thought he had heard the last of The Snooktuation (That's the guy's name on the show, right?), but oh was poor Jake in for a rude awakening. He felt a twinge of uncertainty as the call came over the intercom - "Jake Steadman, please see me in the administrative office".

Jake walked slowly, collecting his thoughts, carefully pacing himself to allow time for a mental inventory of all of his recent customer interactions. His sales numbers had been sliding since people stopped buying typewriters in 1995, but that never seemed to be a problem before. What could it be?

Come in Jake, Mr. Sandelson said before Jake could even get in a third knock. This could not be good.

Jake, we were doing so well this quarter... Please sit down.

Jake sat.

It seems we've met our match, Jake. We won't be able to recover from this one. I'm closing the store.

Mr. Sandelson pulled a bottle and two small snifters from his bottom right drawer, and poured a finger of scotch for Jake and one for himself.

"Wha- what happened sir?" Jake mumbled.

You've heard of google reviews, yes?

No sir, what is a google review?

"It's all that matters Jake!" Mr Sandelson sneered. You get a bad one of these and your goose is cooked!

Sir... did we get a bad googleview?

"Google REVIEW, Jake. Can't you listen!?"

Sorry, sorry. Did we get a bad Google Review?

We did, son. Read it for yourself, Mr Sandelson said with an air of defeat in his voice, turning his monitor for Jake to see.

But sir, this says "Great office store.", with a review like that we should be celebrating!

Mr. Sandelson glanced at the screen and guided Jake's dumb typewriter salesman eyes with his pointer finger.

"Not that one, son. This one."

Jakes eyes filled with tears as he flashed back to that fateful moment two weeks ago when he had asked the drunken spray tanned guido to kindly put on a shirt. If only he'd have known what was to come he would have gone to the secret cheese steak bar in the break room and brought the biggest, bestest cheese steak he could find for the sake of the company. How could he have known that such retribution could come from such a smelly interaction?

But it was too late. He read the words on the screen and knew, just knew, that Mr Sandelson was right. The store could never recover from words so seethed as "Yo the busiest spots in manhattan had better customer service."

Well played The Snooktuation. Well played.