You doin' okay? You look pretty tired.

This is what the Chick Fil A girl said to me at the drive through. I don't know what bothered me more, the words, or the look of concern on her face as she said it. Almost like she was concerned that I was a risk to myself or others. I must have looked that tired.

She didn't mean anything by it, and her voice projected concern so I'm sure the intention was good, but I have been on the receiving end of this type of statement too many times lately and as every inspirational speaker ever has said - "The Time for Action is NOW"!

I'm tired of being 31 and looking 40, but with some of the life experiences my household has come through I'm surprised I don't look 50. The stress and smile lines tell stories and all that, and there are scenarios where I could  make use of my victories. But the questions from random strangers about my well being are starting to worry me. 

Here's my plan!

Step 1. Get a face lift! 

Step 2. Be the most beautiful man in the world and never look tired again!

That's what most people do when they worry about the way their face looks to others, right? They "lift" it! I'm convinced there must be some kind of logic behind it, otherwise why would it be so popular? Also, where does the "lift" verbage come from? 

The literallity (Literal Reality) of lifting a face is far more gruesome than what a face lift actually is, but "I'm getting my face stretched" somehow sounds worse even though it is closer to the reality of the procedure.

Off to google to find out where I can get a face lift on my lunch break!

Did you know that there is a procedure called a Vampire Face Lift? Wow, thanks google!

I love that not only does the writer of this article assume that the patient is a woman, but also their choice of veiling the terrible reality of what they will do by dancing around the subject with phrases like: "Almost no pain" "Injects the woman's own growth factors back into her face in a particular way". 

Pictured - "Glamour"

In a particular way? What does that mean? It's not like they would have typed "In no particular way", because anyone reading it would imagine what that looks like and run away screaming.

Another funny one is "tricking them into thinking there's been an injury and new younger tissue should be generated"... There's been an injury folks.

I'm feeling determined, and I certainly can't see any downside to allowing a doctor to trick my face by injecting it with acid, blood platelets, and growth factors in a particular way, so I'm headed out to get my Vampire Lift!

Update! Here's a before and after photo.

So much better!

I'm back from the procedure and I have to say that it was worth all of my money. The Chick Fil A girl will undoubtedly greet me with "You're doin' okay! You look really awake!" when she sees me at her drive through window again!