CONGRATULATIONS JORGE AND MARIA!!!!

My son and I recently decided to start adopting certain words to use as expletives. Not actual expletives mind you, but words that can be shouted in a moment of exclamation (Stubbing a toe, falling off a roof, getting mauled by a lion, whatever really)... His favorite is "Odinson!"

This morning a humongous digital billboard screamed in my face along with a terrible cell phone picture of Jorge and Maria cutting their cake:

"CONGRATULATIONS JORGE AND MARIA! JUST MARRIED!!!!"  
That being said, I have no Odinson! clue who Jorge and Maria are or why I should be happy for them!

Now that's all fine for Jorge and Maria, great, two people got married, huzzah and all that, but why should I have to know about it? Are gigantic digital billboards now feeding random Facebook posts? Are they that stretched for content? Or, did Jorge and Maria's parents actually pay for highway advertising segment just to blast the image of their newly married kids? In reality, they must have paid for it, and I'm not sure why, but that makes me a little bit angry.

My biggest problem with it is this; I don't know Jorge and Maria, which means I certainly don't know if they are a good couple, or if I would even believe they could survive marriage, which means I also don't know if I would endorse or celebrate their marriage, but I do know this...

Unless there is a truly incredible story behind their relationship that warrants telling every random passerby to celebrate their marriage, I just don't care. Did they overcome odds that the rest of us have never encountered to get married? Were they married on one of their deathbeds? Did Jorge pledge that he would marry Maria only after walking the perimeter of the contiguous united states? I don't know, and again, this means that I don't care, and never wanted to know or care.

So thank you to Jorge and Maria's parents for the crappy cell phone picture, I don't see enough of those on my own social media feeds, the world certainly needs more of those.

To Jorge and Maria, I wish you all the best, because apparently someone thought I should.

Wait a minute... What if Jorge and Maria paid for the billboard!? This is really getting out of hand Jorge! I retract my blessing!

Monday.