The visual

The mental image of some fool paying for this thing, waiting for it to be shipped, proudly unpacking it and carrying it lovingly, carefully, to the restroom, hooking it up to a water supply (never-mind the fact that the guy had to split the water supply to the toilet to connect it), setting his iPad (which they bought just for this purpose) in the cradle, stocking the toilet paper holder, and then sitting down for an inaugural poop cracks me up.

He'll probably pull up a news or weather app to get a sense that he's made a worthwhile investment and added value to the room. Sitting on a toilet will never be the same.



Then, forgetting exactly what the nozzle is for, he'll reach for the most recent copy of SkyMall magazine (He's been collecting SkyMall for awhile and has the past 3 years in a hanging magazine rack next to the sink for his reading pleasure), opening to a page shared with the Dolphin Fun Flusher and the Seashell Fun Flusher to look at the picture, he finds an image of a hand washing a calf muscle in the shower, 'Ah, that's right! It's a calf muscle washer!' he'll think, proudly pulling up the legs of his grey sweatpants, giggling with anticipation. He sprays both lower legs thoroughly since there is no indication of how long calf rinsing should take.

The job is finished and 20 minutes have passed. It's time to clean up and pull those pants legs down.

Standing up to the squishing sound of his now soaking wet tennis shoes, and feeling somehow different than before, he leaves the room, but not before turning to marvel one last time at his newest, class upping chrome bidet spraying digital accessory holding toilet paper stand.

Surely, if this person has friends, none of them have one of these.

Update: I found some reviews for this product at the SkyMall online store (It's called the Biffy Butler Bidet Sprayer by the way!). Some complain of the blast of cold water and believe that their airplane magazine purchased butt sprayer should come with a built in hot water heater. I agree, if only for the potential of an amazing Darwin Award, Electrical Short Butt Sprayer Death.

My favorite though, was this users choice of the words "the daily grind":

Best one out there

I've tried multiple Bidets and this is by far the best one I've found. Not only does it withstand the daily grind it also holds my Digital Accessory in the perfect reading position.