Competition

This morning's drive was one I've dreaded every year since I started working in my current position

Hmmm. I wonder who will win this one.

(8 years total), the Monday after Spring Forward. My clock said 5:15am, but my body knew it was 4:15am. This paragraph has nothing to do with my story, but I feel like complaining. Good for you, China, with your no daylight savings time self. Anyway. The story.

Daylight savings time is dumb.

Okay, okay.

So I drive past one of these new and awesome digital billboards. You know, the kind that have a proprietary lighting element that bypasses all of your body's natural ability to look away BECAUSE YOU'RE DRIVING TOWARDS IT! On the sign was an advertisement for a college. I don't know which one (probably the kind you apply to if your lifelong dream is to become a certified retinal burn repair technician), and it read:

"Enroll NOW. Your competition is in the next car!"



That's interesting, I thought. I should see what I'm up against. Is it the driver, or the passenger of the raised pickup truck with testicles hanging from the hitch joiner to my right? No, it couldn't be one of those guys, they seem great! It must be the overly muscular and impressively tattooed gentleman with the red bandanna, laying far back in the seat of his mid 90's Honda Civic who apparently thinks 'muffler' is the actual phonetic pronunciation his exhaust should produce as he takes it through the gears (MFFFFFFFFLLLLLRRRRRR). I did feel threatened. But not in the sort of way that retinal burn repair college could help me with.

Happy Daylight Savings, China!

-Austin